Sunday 1 September 2019

In A Disunited Kingdom On The Verge Of The Death Of Democracy Let's Chat About Gender Stereotyping As Light Relief....Through The Medium Of Two Dead Birds In An Attic


Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Yes that's right. Gender stereotyping as light relief. That's how insane this Disunited Kingdom has become folks'

So yesterday the wife and I visit the house we're about to move into. Mainly because she has some issues with the shower (which I won't bore you with). However as I'm there she asks me to go up to the attic. Last time she went up there the wife saw two dead birds (presumably during the day the workmen forgot to close the window) and wondered whether they were still there or had been removed.

So gender stereotype number one. The wife is the sort of small woman who takes no messing from anybody. She will go all in to do things that are supposed to be "men's work" (even if I'm there and offering to do it). And yet when it comes to rodents or in this case dead birds she becomes the most girly girl in the history of girls. She just can't do deal with the situation. She is almost immobile. She'd rather walk out of the house and leave them there.

I've no issues with any small animal really that isn't a domesticated wolf (aka a dog) so I go up and yes they're still there. Like germs in a Domestos ad. Dead.

So gender stereotype number two: When the wife first saw the birds (I was at work) she asked the workmen to remove them. According to her they didn't want to do it because they were scared. That's right big strong tradesmen with tattoos over their tattoos were scared to deal with two dead birds.

Gender stereotype number three: Me. A man who you could deal with in a fight by just taking my spectacles off felt a rushing surge of testosterone in my veins as I proclaimed "I am Lord of this domain and I shall resolve this!!"

Or I just shrugged my shoulders and "I'll deal with it" (I'll leave you to decide).

But not at that moment though. I needed gloves and a couple of black bags as the birds were not the only things left in the attic. There was a sixties style suitcase (unopened), a tennis racket and various songbooks including one I noticed for Boyzone (which surprised me as I only thought they did cover versions).

I'll sort out the birds, open the suitcase and look at the other stuff properly on Tuesday. Obviously in the most manly of manly ways possible.

Until the next time.

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