The Helmet and The Tie. Two Tales About Clothing

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today

So yesterday I'm working in Bridgend. A man suddenly enters and asks us whether we've just seen another guy walking along the street outside.

Well as it happens I did. He was dressed in casual clothes (rather less than he should have been wearing in this cold February afternoon). He wasn't really walking. He was strutting. Peacock fashion. Or perhaps reminiscent of the John Travolta stride along the pavement in Saturday Night Fever.

But that was not the odd thing about him. What was odd was that the walker had a motorcycle helmet on his head. The impression he gave was of a Star Wars stormtrooper on his day off.

There was we assumed only one reason why he was doing this. Despite the fact that it's Bridgend Wales and not Beijing China  fear of contracting the cornavirus brought him to this "avoid the plague" response.

The conversation moved towards stories that people have heard. Of British Chinese nationals being shunned. Of someone who was only paying for most of her goods through contactless payment so that as far as possible she wouldn't have to press the numbered buttons on a card machine to avoid catching germs. I don't know whether these stories were true but in one sense that didn't matter. They were not beyond the bounds of possibility.

And that I suspect is actually the frightening thing. For though this is Bridgend and not Beijing the calm is actually quite fragile. The helmeted  man and the  local tales suggest that If there was an outbreak closer to home then society might collapse quicker than the supposed British stuff upper lip would have you believe.

And so to the next story. And to lighten the mood it's about a funeral.

Nowadays the most Conservative thing about me is my taste in clothes. I'm not the sort of person who goes towards bright colours, or something that "makes a statement" . The duller,and preferably the darker the better.

That's why for me the best thing about funerals is what you need to wear as a man. Black suit,black shoes, black socks,black tie. The only thing that's not black is the white shirt.

Last Friday we went to a funeral  and unexpectedly for me (though the wife is telling me it's becoming more common -  regularly attending funerals is not a hobby of mine) it was  sartorially an issue. Because the person whose life we were remembering did not like black and wanted people to wear at least one item of bright clothing. Ties were specifically mentioned.

Now I have few ties. None of which fall in the "bright" section of life. Indeed I have a particular hatred of loud ties or those with cartoon characters in them. As if to say " I may work in IT but I have a sense of humour " ( trust me you don't).

Eventually I settled on one that had three shades of purple on it. Not exactly the tie equivalent of neon lighting but as bright as I was prepared to go.

And you know what? At the funeral I noticed that most men went for variations on a purpley theme as well. I was delighted and relieved. I would suspect their thought patterns were the same as mine. Pick a colour the was different.......but not that different.
So in probably the only piece of fashion advice I will ever give in this blog I will declare that when it comes to ties for a funeral...

Purple is the new black.

Until the next time.
Until the next time.