So March 9 Then: The Day I Intend To Be An Undercover West Ham Fan At Cardiff City

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

I'm not normally one for looking at football fixtures for the forthcoming season but yesterday was different. I'd decided to prepare and plan as much as I could to watch Cardiff City play the team I follow West Ham.

All the time Swansea City were in the Premiership I'd left it too late. Ready to go only to find work/other issue blocked my way. This time will be different. I now know the date (March 9th) and I will monitor when the tickets will be on sale. I WILL BE THERE.

The Undercover West Ham fan.

Why undercover? Well I don't want to sit in a faraway corner of the Cardiff City Stadium where the away fans normally are. I want a good view thankyou very much. Don't worry I will be polite. I won't suddenly shout out "Come on You Irons!" whilst being surrounded by Bluebirdian fans or cheer when Manuel Pellegrini's men (let's be optimistic here) score a goal. No I'll be polite. I will wear my standard gear now of old man casual. I won't do anything. My parents raised me good.

(And as an aside when Pellegrini was appointed manager for Manchester City he was described as providing a "holistic approach" to management. Presumably then the West Ham backroom staff will include Holland and Barrett)

I have done this before in the City stadium when Sam Allardyce was manager. The person who almost blew my cover was the wife who having dropped me off sang as loudly as possible "I'm forever blowing bubbles" as she was driving past.

(I gave up taking her to football games when many years ago I took her to see Cardiff play then Premiership Aston Villa (how old? Paul Merson was playing that old) in Ninian Park. Cardiff had just been promoted to the old Division One I think (now the Championship) and at end of the match the announcer said something like...

"And we'll see you next season ….in Division One!!"

To which the wife responded "Not for long"

Well I wanted the Earth to swallow me there and then. I vowed never to take her to a game ever. Though of course....full disclosure here....she was proved right as they got relegated the following season!
Also there seems to a certain group of Welsh woman who can say anything and get away with it whereas if I said the exact same thing hands would be warmly shaking me round the neck)

Anyway West Ham won but I was quiet. Indeed I was able to hold a mournful look that suggested disappointment whereas in fact I wanted to shout "YEEESS".

And of course I can't say anything...thus revealing myself to be English....even if it may not be an Eastend accent suspicions will be raised. Hence the silence.

So if you see a silent fan watching Cardiff play West Ham next year that will be me. Sorry Cardiff City...no I'm not sorry really. Tell you what though, I'll see if I can come on September 1st and watch you play Arsenal.

I'd definitely shout for you then.

Until the next time.