An Anti-Christmas Tale: The Worst Book I've Ever Received As A Gift

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Christmas is a time when companies promote their wares in the hope that somebody will buy them and of course book publishers are no different. But personally I've always been wary of books that are specifically hyped up for the season. Showbiz biographies cook books and the like.

My view simply is that books are for life and not just for Christmas and books brought out and publicised at this time of year rarely have staying power in terms of your affection.

I wish I could remember the title of the book and it's author. But obviously I've seared it off my memory. Still I'm going to give you a short tale of the worst book I've ever received as a gift.

It is either 1995 or 1996. I'm in my early thirties and my future wife and I are starting our long distance relationship visiting each other between Cardiff and London. However it's Christmas and we're at our respective families for the festive dinner.

So a cousin gives me her present. I know it's a book and am happy about that. I unwrap it and there it is. A book about how British prisoners condemned to spend the rest of their lives in jail spend their days.

And all I could think of was this.

She saw a book about the imprisoned lives of people spending their remaining time behind bars.....and she thought of me.

I really could not understand why. Perhaps it was she thought of me as being forever single destined to be a creepy old guy and then finding to her surprise that I had a serious girlfriend. Perhaps it was discounted and it was a last minute thing with the sticker taken off so to pretend she spent full price on this hardback. I don't know.

What I do know is this. The book was not looked at beyond it's cover. The first chance I got it went straight to a charity shop never to be seen again.

So the moral of this little tale is this. Don't buy someone a book this Christmas. Buy them a book token instead.

Trust me it's better.

Until the next time.