Why The Halifax Bank Should Be Worried About Its Mortgage Policy And The Royal Navy About Mutinies

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

There are currently two ads that are bothering me on British television at the moment. The first involves much loved cartoon character Top Cat, as he applies for and gets a mortgage from the Halifax Bank.

Now please paws before you accuse me of being catty. I'm not bothered that a talking feline is able to get a mortgage. Nor that an American talking feline is able to obtain a mortgage from a British bank to build a new abode from scratch back in the USA (though I'm curious how he was able to do that).

No what bothers me is that we have a talking American cat able to obtain a mortgage from a British bank to build a new abode from scratch in the USA even though (as I recall the cartoons as a child) he had no fixed income.

A cat, with no fixed income, unable to pass any credit checks and even in the olden days when I watched it was subject to constant checks from the American security services in the form of Officer Dibble was able to go through all those obstacles and still receive a mortgage. Are the Halifax Bank's mortgage checks lax? Are we going back to to the bad old days of the property bubble before the last financial crisis?

Halifax bank. We as a nation and indeed a globe need to know how Top Cat got his mortgage and need to be calmed that you're not giving out high risk financial products to every Tom Cat,Dick or Harry. I think we should be told.

Let's come now to the Royal Navy.

They are running a series of ads which basically show someone with low prospects, living in a dreary place and little hope of progressing in life until they join the navy. The tagline is "Born in.....Made in the Royal Navy".

Now of course these adverts would have normally no interest for me. Given that I'm short of size,long of age and short of the ability to swim. Still I was disturbed by it.

Now the first place to receive that treatment was Carlisle. Now I've never been there. But leaving aside it's recent issues with heavy flooding it seems a perfectly decent place to live in. It has the Lake District, immortalised by the books of Wainwright and is the birthplace to one of my favourite writers Hunter Davies.

But it was the second ad that jolted me. For the area concerned here was Bridgend.

Now those regular readers of this blog will know how I've bemoaned the state of Bridgend Town. Brought to a state of decay I would argue mainly by the Labour council's policy of sleep apnoea (I would talk to the leader about this but Rip Van Winkle was otherwise engaged). However there are other parts of Bridgend that are perfectly fine places to live in spite of I would argue,rather than because of the council.

And pity poor Stockport also now locked into this "dreary place" category and without even the TV production values to support it instead it's only on radio.

Anyway the point being that the ad suggests should you stay in Bridgend/Carlisle/Stockport etc you will become a fat drunken lump of skin and you will only be "made" if you join the Navy. A recruitment ploy of subliminally trashing a potential recruit's home area that is novel to say the least.

Of course these areas are picked because of the young working class that they want to recruit. But then many members of the Royal Family have been in the seaforce that bares it's job description. Still you don't hear an ad that goes "Born in Kensington and Chelsea but made in the Royal Navy" now do you?

These ads could, you've read it hear first, also endanger the security of Britain. For if I was a high ranking official in (insert foreign power here) I would try to first find out which ship has the highest proportion of Bridgendians,Carlisians and Stockpordians in it. Once that's discovered I would send an agent provocateur into the ship and slowly agitate against Britain.

"Look how they think of our towns " the agent would say. "I'm sure (insert foreign power here) would treat them with respect".

And eventually such gradual but constant propaganda would have an effect. So that when (insert foreign power here) does invade this group would disable the ship making it venerable to (insert foreign power here) attack and takeover.

So Royal Navy. Stop bringing out ads doing down areas of the four nations you should be defending and do what you do best. Protecting our nations from (insert foreign power here).

Until the next time.

In Which I Go To A Rugby Game (But Football Is Not Missed)

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

I was on Twitter a few days back when I noticed a tweet announcing that the Mid District Cup Final was going to be today (Wednesday) at Pontypridd RFC's ground at 7:15pm. Wasn't working that day so I thought "Why Not"? It was only going to be five pounds entrance fee after all.

An early evening kick-off. A town I'd been to before so I knew the route and it would be a change from spending the evening sitting in front of the TV or the laptop (though that would happen later). I wasn't going to ignore football though oh no. The big match of the evening was the final of the Europa League between Liverpool and Sevilla but the plan was to ignore all chances of knowing the result and watch a recording on my return.

It was something I'd been looking forward to, if only because it had been a long while since I had the opportunity to see some live sport. Even though, as in this case, was going to be very much the neutral.

At a club level the top professional tier of Welsh rugby is far removed from the old cliches. Unfortunately for them that is no good thing. About the turn of the Millennium it was decided that there would be a "Celtic" league (incorporating Ireland,Scotland as well as later on Italy when it would be constantly renamed according to the sponsor)  limiting the number of Welsh teams without any prospect of promotion/relegation. So although there would be "Welsh" leagues underneath the big league a glass ceiling would remain firmly in place.

These professional clubs were meant to be powerhouses of the game in Wales. This however has not happened. The lack of promotion/relegation has caused a stagnation of the Welsh club game at the top level. Results taken as a whole have been awful in the now "Guinness" league  (best Welsh team was 5th, then 7th,8th and 10th this season - this is from a league of 12) and on the verge of pathetic at a European club level.

Furthermore fans in those areas that were disenfranchised from top flight rugby were, I suspect, expected to go to the closest of the four professional teams following the NFL template. This hasn't happened. If you look at matches on the TV you'll regularly see empty spaces. Purely off the top of my head, without any degree of research (ie going on Google) I could make the case that at a club level rugby is no longer the biggest sport in Wales. It's football.

However the match I was going to yesterday was never going to be stagnant. As it was between local rivals fighting for a cup and in whatever sport that means passion.Was looking forward to it.

The match was between Bargoed RFC and Beddau (pronounced Bather) RFC. I've never been to either place and I was ignorant of both teams and their chances.

I should mention that the journey from Bridgend to Pontypridd had some absolutely stunning views. If I had the time would have stopped and taken some pictures for you. But let me say yet again that given bright weather like yesterday's it's not difficult to pictures in Wales that would make the viewer think it was Italy.

Parked immediately behind the rugby as instructed by the attendant. Initially was worried but then I realised that the closer you are to the posts the less chance you have of getting your car hit (as what thankfully happened)

That close

My first action was to get something to eat and drink so I went to the bar and asked for a pie and coke. The pretty girl behind the bar asked whether I wanted the coke to be diet which was polite though given I'd asked for a pie academic. She also asked whether I wanted the pie to be warmed up. Not wishing to be assumed a wimp, though my natural default option is to be one I said no. This was a mistake, not only because it was disgusting but as I came out there was somebody walking to the game with a pasta salad.

I made my way to a good seat in the main stand. No way to guesstimate the crowd but was very high especially if you consider that it was many tiers below the top level and that it was a Wednesday night with a European football final on the television.It showed to me that rugby in Wales can still pull in the crowds if the people felt emotionally involved to it.

Incidentally I'd forgotten that the other Pontypridd RFC's ground was known as was "The House Of Pain". What a great name for a rugby ground. Says it all really.

Took one of the books to read during half time. I therefore claim to the first person ever to take a Kim Edwards novel to a Welsh Rugby Union game. Fame at last. 

Proof for the history books

And on the subject of that book you may remember that I sent an email to the American person whose New York calling card was used as a bookmark by its previous owner. Well unfortunately an automatic reply has come back saying that the email address "does not correspond" with any currently being used. It was always a long shot.

The Match Programme

And of course I knew that if I was bored during the game I could always lose myself in the view.

The View From The Stand

In the early stages of the first half Beddau dominated and scored a try subsequently converted. But for the rest of the half the possession was mainly dominated by Bargoed. Possession which they could not turn into points and as we all know, points means prizes. This seemed to be born out when Beddau added to the score with a penalty

Scrum Down - No Gloss In This Game

There seemed to be some interesting characters in this game. The man with the ponytail, the Bargoed Andy Carroll. Also there was the player with the hippy hairstyle who ran full speed at an admittidly padded post only to get up shortly afterwards. In Bargoed it appears even the hippies are tough.

In the second half though Bargoed's pressure finally tolled and they scored. The one moment in the game where a gap appeared in the Beddau line so wide it could be seen not just by the player who scored but also by us watching on the stands. However their joy was short lived as in a small space of time two of their men were sin binned for fouls and after the second one Beddau scored a try again but not the subsequent conversion.

The Sun Setting On Sardis Road

So down in points and for a significant amount of time players it appeared a miracle of Leicester proportions would be required. But Beddau would not score in this match again. Bargoed just began a relentless series of attacks that were repelled until about 10 mins or so when they were awarded a penalty try.

14-15 to Beddau, last few minutes and the game going down to the wire.

Not a dull moment

The last minutes seemed an eternity as the Beddau team fought doggedly to withstand further Bargoed onslaughts. And they did. Just mind. Very much just.

By the way if you want my vote for Man Of The Match. It'll be to the Beddau defence coach

So it ended with a one point victory to Beddau. It was the best game of club rugby that I had seen in a long while. It encompassed the best aspects of Welsh rugby. The heart,the excitement, the local support and it also showed what the top tier teams are losing and in some respects lost.

Beddau Celebrating

Thank you Bargoed RFC,Beddau RFC and Sardis Road...it was fun.

Thanks

When I went home I watched the Europa League match without knowing the result beforehand. And if you have not yet seen it. I won't spoil it for you.

I've finished The Fan by Hunter Davies. It was an enjoyable read and it is recommended though not if you're a younger reader as it'll probably have you confused and googling in frustration (Glenn Hoddle as England manager for example).

So there was a need for a new book to keep in the car and I picked this one.

Henry Cooper - H for 'Enry

For those who don't know Henry Cooper was a famous and popular boxer of the sixties and seventies. Who is often recalled nowadays as the man who nearly beat Muhammed Ali. This autobiography, done in snippets is a record of his eventful post boxing life which makes it an unusual read.

Until the next time.

Of Pelicans, Penguins,Panini and the leader of Plaid Cymru. With an added sprinkle of even more books and Maesteg

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

A couple of years ago I was having my hair cut and having a conversation with the hairdresser. For some reason the town of Maesteg, about half an hour away, was mentioned. She said that she'd never been there. I said I had.

"Why?" She asked

"Because I'm a world traveller" came my response. (Which on reflection was rather brave given that if there is one rule a man should always obey when it comes to gender politics it's never to annoy a lady with a sharp object around your face)

And one final point about the lady who cuts my hair. Her partner is possibly a woman's ideal man. A cook who doesn't like sport.

On Saturday I needed to go to the town and as it happened I'd learnt that the leader of Plaid Cymru was going to be at the market there around midday. Even though it is a well known killer of cats I was curious to see the leader of the political party I'd joined first hand.

So I hung around a bit.

What I like about Maesteg town centre is the way it can integrate the old and the new almost seamlessly. Obviously there are problems here as well but as I suggested yesterday it is far better than its equivalent in Bridgend.

I'm assuming this building is the local Tabernacle. Very impressive anyway.

The Building on the left is a Post Office

Now come now. Wouldn't you want your Council Offices to look like this?

The Town Hall and Market Entrance

I'd a few minutes to spare before she was due to come so looked at the book stall in the market. Just as Porthcawl has the Porthcawl Animal Welfare Service (PAWS) Maesteg has the Maesteg Animal Welfare Service (MAWS) which sells books at 50p each whether paper or hardback, I eventually picked four books as follows:

Fatima Beer - Higher Than Hope

This orange spined Penguin paperback was the authorised biography of Nelson Mandela. The important point to remember here is that it was written in 1990. The year he was released from jail.

I think I forgot to mention that not only do I collect Penguin paperbacks but I also collect their stablemate Pelican paperbacks (again it has to be in their classic coloured spine - in this case blue). What pleased was that I was able to buy two "vintage" ie pre ISBN numbered books.

A465 - Boris Ford (Editor) - The Pelican Guide to English Literature 7 - The Modern Age

A702 - Hugh Lloyd-Jones (Editor) - The Greek World

These vintage Pelican and Penguin Paperbacks are checked against the list written in a Paris Saint Germain notebook. Possibly the only time they can be put together in one sentence.

Believe me this is needed

And finally:

Michael Palin - Hemingway's Chair

Before you say "that's not a Penguin/Pelican paperback or anything to do with sports" well yes. But only the day before I'd downloaded a radio adaptation of this book and now it was there confronting me to buy it. So I did.

It was about twenty past twelve before she actually came. The life of a political leader in election time is obviously a busy one. I was in the market cafe with a cup of tea to warm me in what was a surprisingly cold day and had been ready to leave because there were other things I needed to do that day.

Leanne Williams is an impressive leader and worked the scene well.  She shook my hand and I told her that Plaid had my vote even though I'm English.. Wasn't going to go into full blown detail as to what lead me to this process or that I was now a member of the party as this was neither the time nor the place to gush like a girl to (insert boy band here).

Did though ask for a selfie...well it would've been a selfie if I'd known how to have used the phone. #OldMansProblems

Should've been a selfie

When I showed my wife later she was impressed. She too is going to vote Plaid Cymru,

Her visit to Maesteg probably means that Plaid they have a good chance of doing well here in the National Assembly elections. I think they're right. Based purely on the unscientific approach by the number of placards on the road from Bridgend when I was closer to the town.

I've finished A Point Of View by Clive James. Nothing has really changed from what I posted before. The only good thing about it really is that it has led me back to the podcasts.

What it means is that I need a new "Car book" and it's this.

Hunter Davies - The Fan

This is a collection of left field articles on football in the New Statesman by Hunter Davies. I've always liked him. He writes on a wide field of subjects interestingly and with enthusiasm

I'm a man in his fifties. But football and only football has the power of turning me instantly into a ten year old boy.And it occurred to me late last week that with the Euro 2016 coming soon it might be a good idea to collect a Panini Football stickers for my daughter as a souvenir when she gets older. I'm not going to deny that the schoolboy in me is part of the reason for this. But there is also the fact that this is first time Wales are in a major football tournament in my lifetime let alone hers.

My wife thinks this is silly. But I'm going to ignore her (for once). Until the end of Euro 2016 I'm going to buy 1 pack of stickers a day. How I will proceed after it finishes depends on how well I've done.

Of course I won't deny that this hasn't been completely worked out. The biggest problem being the question of what I do with doubles (as for obvious reasons I'm not going to deal with kids. I've no wish for anybody to put two and two together and make five). Hopefully though I'll muddle through.

Brings back memories

Until the next time...