Listening To Swansea City And West Ham United With My Mother

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

"Nothing to watch on the television?" says my mother.

I'm as regular readers will know in Essex in the moment as my mother is recovering from a viral infection. Good news is that she's much better and all she needs to get a bit more energy back. I'll be leaving for Wales on Saturday.

But to answer my mother's question no there's nothing on the television. So I'm listening to football instead. The match on BBC Radio Five Live was blog friend Swansea City vs minor blog villain  Tottenham whilst there would be reports on blog hero (alright flawed hero) West Ham vs blog I don't know how to describe them West Bromwich Albion.

Swansea City had the new managerial appointment of Carlos Carvalhal. Which you could only look and wonder "why him?" West Ham had David Moyes, a manager where my opinion has moved from "Why him? He's rubbish, He's the messiah and currently "Why him?"

After about twelve minutes Spurs score. Llorente.Ex Swansea player. Apparently it was offside but no one seemed to really care as it appeared that Tottenham were so good /Swansea so bad. Listening to ex Swansea and in terms of his performance as a Hammer the best ex Arsenal player to play for us John Hartson being depressed. Swansea seem to be outplayed and outmanoeuvred in the apparently teeming South Wales rain.

Half an hour comes news from London. West Bromwich score. Leading West Ham 1-0. So let's get this straight, the teams I'd want to win are losing....perhaps it's me.

My mother has nodded off. Wish I could.

As the first half ends Swansea gives its fans more hope than at it's beginning but as any West Ham fan will tell you there is a misery in hope.

Second half.  Do I know what happened in the beginning? No. Wife rings. Tell her that I'm going to come home on Saturday. Moment I pass her to my mother there's good news from the TV. West Ham has equalised...meanwhile I hear discussions of the colour of paint on rooms. Another sign that she's better is that long female conversations on the phone have returned.

My mother chats further with my wife. Apart from the odd bit of excitement there appears to be no action with the matches. More action with the conversation between mother and wife.....worries me when they are close. Somehow I feel it's going to end badly for me somehow.

"I agree with you" says my mother to the wife. Suggesting that she disagrees with me.

Thirty five minutes that call was. Mainly between two of the three women in my life (the other being my daughter I should stress).

Two minutes left in the game. Spurs score. That would be it for the Swans.

Then last minute...WEST HAM SCORE!!! Andy Carroll the player who can be irritating yet inspiring in equal measure is in his inspirational moment . Now you might argue that West Brom were tired having spent two matches in three days...and you would be right...but I'm afraid I don't care...BECAUSE WEST HAM WON!!!

"Spare a thought for Alan Pardew" says the BBC radio reporter....well.....no.

I know childish of me. But as I've said once before (when I wasn't this old) that although I'm a fifty four year old man football, and only football, has the power to turn me into a ten year old boy.

Match Of The Day is on tonight. My mother has gone to bed. Will be watching it now.

Until the next time.

London/Epping Part Two: In Which I Make A Belated Goodbye To The Boleyn, Go To The Orient And Buy Some Books

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Unusually for me. I actually had a plan for a Saturday when not working. The first part was simple. It had been the first opportunity to go to Upton Park and visit the Boleyn Ground since it's closure and West Ham's move to the Olympic Stadium.Pathetic though it sounds, especially for a fifty two year old man I wanted to say goodbye personally.

It was a grey day but thankfully did not rain which was fine with me. The underground journey was surprisingly swift and soon I was out of the station and face to face with an old friend.

Memories are made of this

Of Brooking and Bonds,Dicks and Cottee to name but a few. This was a place that once had a big part of my life when I was much younger.

A small tear was shed....in a manly East End way of course.

A Wistful Moment

Closest I could get

Nearby there is a statue of the legendary 1966 West Ham World Cup heroes. Had to get a picture of that as well.

The Heroes

And opposite the statue there is...

The Newham Bookshop !!!

Which is organised in the same higgledy piggeldy way I like bookshops to be. So that you, the reader,can revel in discovery.

The Search For Reading Treasure Begins

Unfortunatly wasn't sure what I was going to spend in the next main stop I was going to visit so couldn't splash out. So just bought a few individual essays by George Orwell and Anne Patchett

Today's trio

Upton Park is very much a multi cultural area as it was when I was young. So I didn't think that much had changed. Queens market for example.

Not that much different from when I was here last

So it was coming up to twelve o'clock. Hungry. What shall I have? A Subway? A Greggs? Ethnic cuisine? Well as it happened when I saw this it became a no brainer.

The Legend That Is Percy Ingle

I remember their cream doughnuts as a child....as you do.

Can't say anything has changed since I last went into a Percy Ingle. But nostalgia won. Ordered a cheese roll and a Lucozade.....living on the edge.

It was eventually time to go. Given that I'm living in Wales it's unlikely I'll be visiting Upton Park ever again unless there's a major unexpected swerve in my life. So thankyou Boelyn and Upton Park for the memories. I will always appreciate them.

Thankyou

Sadly No More

Given that it was one of the few times I'm in the area West Ham uncharitably were playing away at West Bromwich Albion. What that meant was that to watch a football match I had to go to the Orient.....Leyton Orient.

What I've realised recently is that Leyton Orient was the precursor to my views on Cardiff City,Swansea City and Newport County in that to me they were like being very friendly with a woman but not having an affair as you're faithful to your wife. It's the only English club I feel that way about. My views normally are mainly neutral (including Millwall) moving to dislike (Tottenham) and absolute hatred (Arsenal).

I regularly visited Brisbane Road when West Ham were playing away. The last time though was about 1996/1997 before I moved to Wales. The O's were playing Merthyr Tydfil in the third round of the FA Cup and I thought it would be a good idea to take the wife there given that she's Welsh. Who says I don't know how to treat a woman?

Anyway they were playing Yeovil Town FC and I made up my mind to go to BRISBANE ROAD (I really can't call it The Matchroom Stadium). I was in for a few shocks firstly ...

These are apartments around the ground

And then ...

All very modern

Went into the club shop (or Superstore as clubs like to call it now). Bought an Orient football shirt for my collection which I'll tell my wife is a Christmas present from her to me (I'll reveal it then), a pen and a match programme.

On paper, by which I mean the match programme, the Os were in the top half the division whilst Yeovil were in the bottom three position. So this should've been an easy victory for the home side.

Before I say anything else let me just say that I hereby claim to be the first person to read a Helene Hanff book during the breaks in a game at Leyton Orient. Here is the proof;

I rest my case

Obviously Leyton Orient were aware I'd last visited about twenty years back. What other reason could there be for the fact that the pre match music came from the Now That's What I Call Nineties back catalgue. Fatboy Slim anyone? Or perhaps you feel you want to "Jump Around"?

(A quick digression. The biggest cheer of the game came at half time when the announcer told the crowd that West Ham were losing three nil (eventually to lose 4-2). Obviously I'm bothered but will always keep the faith. That said. there will need to be a turnaround soon or else the situation will get worse and quickly.)

So to the match. In the first half Orient dominated but just could score. Yeovil occasionally moved forward but it had been mainly the home team. The second half seemed to go exactly the same way. Orient were by far the better team except in finishing. Either a pass went to fresh air or a shot to goal was so wayward the players must have thought that the ball was installed with Satnav so that it could be guided through the net.

BRISBANE ROAD!!!

And there was this. 

"MOVEMENT!"

A guy a few rows behind me kept shouting this throughout the match. And he had a point. What seemed to happen was that Orient would start to attack but whoever had the ball would stop as the player didn't seem to know what to do next. By the time he did the moment was gone.

"MOVEMENT!"

The guy shouted this so often I did wonder whether in a parallel universe he was a ballet teacher.

A draw seemed to be the inevitable result..... until in the seventy sixth minute Yeovil had a corner which they took short. The resulting cross reached the head of Tom Eaves and the away team had scored.

One nil then to Yeovil. With the first and only time in the entire game they showed a genuine piece of skill.

There was of course uproar with the home support. Some people even decided that there was about thirteen minutes left it was time to leave. Orient did try to gain a late equaliser and had a chance kicked off the line but it was to no avail. They had lost.

Boos rang out around the ground.

The player sitting down did not escape abuse

The fans anger then turned towards their owner Francesco Becchetti. "Becchetti out" came the cry. From an executive box he emerged and just waved the fans away as if they were peasants. The Roman Emperor approach it appears.

I'd enjoyed today. Aside of course from the results.

Until the next time.

Euro 2016 Is Missed Again....Instead I Read A Football Book So That I'm Not A Criminal

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Well work meant that I missed the three matches that were on yesterday.Living in Wales the match was conscious of mostly was their game against Slovenia. Whilst it would be a lie to say that work was as quiet as a wild west town with tumbleweed strolling across the way it was certainly less busy than normal.

Knew Wales had won though didn't know the score however the other match of interest was England Russia. Did not know the result of that as I came home but to be honest couldn't have recorded it as I wouldn't have had the patience not to know  the result. 1-1 then. England never make it easy for themselves do they? Next match is against Wales on Thursday. Working that day. What with the match and the violence involving (though not it appears solely the fault of) English fans perhaps it's a good thing.

Did not realise I could have been watching part of the birthday celebrations for the fact that a woman turned 90 (three times in fact). Perhaps the BBC licence fee would be more justified if they broadcast celebrations for birthdays for other people reaching that age. Then it wouldn't act as if it should be called Broadcasting By Curtsy.

Anyway so to work and during the quiet moments concentrated on finishing off the library book The Three Degrees by Paul Rees. Not least because I was 1 day late on the due date (I know, on the most wanted list I go).

You may remember that it was about the three Afro Caribbean footballers, Brendon Batson,Laurie Cunningham and Cyrille Regis who played for West Bromwich Albion in the late seventies and early eighties. The first time three non coloured players were in a the first eleven in a team in the UK.

It is a good read. It sets out the complex characters involved very well for the uninitiated, Also and possibly crucially the author's local knowledge of the West Midlands at that time makes it easier for the reader to understand the situation that the men were involved in.

At that time football was in a very nasty state. Hooliganism had taken hold of the sport and so the atmosphere generally was hostile. For these men, the colour of their skin added a further layer that they were forced to deal with.The author sets this out well Would hope this hasn't returned.

If there is a flaw in the book it's overdoing the national situation at the time. Obviously it needed to be explained but the Jeremy Thorpe trial? Really?

Still it doesn't hide the fact that this is a quietly important book about men who found themselves being pioneers and just went about their business despite the obstacles ignorance threw their way.

And perhaps also praise should also be placed on West Bromwich Albion. They always struck me as a club who when faced with issues that were beyond merely football always did the right thing.

Anyway I'll go to the library tomorrow to pay my debt to society and get the next football book then.

Until the next time.

In Which I Support Manchester United For The Day And Other Couch Potato News

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

I have cancelled my Sky Sports subscription now that the final West Ham/Boleyn game has come and gone. However there is about three weeks or so before the channels are taken off my screen and so I won't deny I've watched/recorded other things.But these have been football matches, and as it's the tail end of the season not that many at that.

With one exception.

Because after having made myself a cup of tea and porridge once I'd woken up yesterday (Saturday). I plonked my backside onto the sofa and watched a recording of the previous night's Natwest T20 game between Essex and Surrey. Cricket wise although I must admit it's normally a sport I'd rather follow on the radio the team I do follow is Essex. This is because when I was a child they would play a Sunday League game at Valentine's Park in Ilford near where I'd lived when (much) younger.

Of course many things have changed since then. For example 20/20 cricket didn't exist, and you didn't then have to wonder how a bank bailed out by the taxpayer is sponsoring a sports competition. Still, Essex is the team I support and so the early morning was spent watching the match.

Essex however lost. But despite the never knowingly undersold quality of Sky Sports commentary, done by people I suspect annoyed that they didn't have the Test Match Cricket gig, I'd lost interest well before that.Should've just stuck to watching football recordings.

The only piece of real energy today was I made a quick trip to Porthcawl for a bit of shopping and a quick trip to the library. The weather was grim, though Porthcawl can still give a good picture no matter how miserable the day.

Fifty Shades Of Grey

As hinted I've borrowed a new book from the library which is this:

The Three Degrees - Paul Rees

This is about the three Afro Caribbean players who started to play for West Bromwich Albion in the late seventies. Their experiences, including the racism which was (if you consider the bananas) literally thrown at them. It should be an interesting read.

Once all the Porthcawl stuff was done it was time to go home and get ready to become a Manchester United fan for the day.

Explanations for the unknowing are in order. At the end of the Premier League season West Ham had finished seventh. A situation which meant they had missed out of inclusion into next season's Europa League judged on that alone. Their only chance was if Manchester United,already in the competition having finished the season in fifth, won the FA cup that they were contesting that day against Crystal Palace. So it meant that yesterday I was like a lot of Manchester United fans in Britain, having never been to Manchester let alone see them play there.

It also meant that I would be watching an FA Cup Final and rooting for the favourite.

As it happens I've never hated Manchester United like other fans do. That goes for Chelsea and Manchester City too. I think it's because I'm old enough to remember when these teams failed. When they got relegated and the years of empty trophy wise.

(Incidentally speaking of the years of empty the best title of a football book ever was Manchester United Ruined My Life by Colin Schindler. Written by a City supporter during United's recent successful period and before the oil money transformed the blue side.It says everything about being a fan when things are not going well)

It doesn't mean I root for them normally (after all in most matches they are the favourite). It doesn't mean I'm immune to cracking jokes about them. It's just that there's no bitter bile that comes from my lips when they are the subject of conversation.

And as I'm rambling on the subject I don't have this hatred towards Millwall either that each others fans are apparently inserted into the DNA. To be honest I feel neutral towards them. A sort of Charlton Athletic state of being.

Tottenham come close. In recent years they've become really annoying. There's something particular about their chairman Daniel Levy that is really dislikeable. When there are shots him on the television during a game, he always looks as if he's about to produce a white cat whilst expecting the arrival of James Bond.

But of course ultimately, there's always Arsenal. I've a group of friends known since childhood from north London who have been rabid fans of the Gunners and have always sort to remind me of their successes and West Ham's failures. Remember one Sunday when I received a phone call gloating over some embarrassing Hammers defeat.For some reason - can't recall now - was in bed laid low by some bug so there was no way I could respond properly. So waited patiently for years until West Ham beat them and I rang them to gloat. I was ...ahem ...thirty five at the time.

I am a fifty two year old man now. But football,and only football has the capacity of turning me into a ten year old boy. When we beat Arsenal in the first game of the season just ended. I viewed it as the long awaited triumph of good over the forces of evil.

But anyway back to yesterday. There was one more match to see before my (temporary) team's game. I'd never watched a Scottish Cup Final Live before and having Sky Sports did give me that opportunity so I took it.It was between Hibernian and Rangers. The latter was recently promoted next season to continue their rivalry with Celtic. A confrontation I can now best describe as being like Cardiff and Swansea with added religion.

Spoiler alert: It was unquestionably the best thing I saw yesterday. Hibernian won 3-2. Thanks in no small part to Anthony Stokes. Apparently he's on loan from Celtic so I assume now that Rangers fans think that he was on an undercover mission to spoil their day. David Gray, their captain scored an injury time and you saw what it meant in his face  and the faces of players,the manager an the fans that the hoodoo of cup failure was now lifted.

Speaking of the Hibernian fans some of them invaded the pitch after the game as did a few Rangers ones. If the TV pictures were anything to go by the wringing of hands at the situation was mainly overdone as although I'm sure there were a few apes of either team it was mainly a case of the Hibs fans being drunk with happiness at their victory. It was the Hibernian manager, Alan Stubbs, who said it best. For when the Sky Sports interviewer tried to get him to condemn the situation he said though not condoning the pitch invasion he understood it. That's a man with a sense of perspective.

By the way Sunshine On Leith is probably the best football anthem ever. If you can watch on Youtube the scenes of the fans singing it after the team received the cup then do it. Your hairs will rise from the back of your neck at the emotion of it all

So to the FA Cup Final and time to watch my team play. Well the first half was, barring a few decisions from the referee Mark Clattenburg that helped United (what a fine match official he is), dull. Time travels fast in a football game when you're bored. It makes your mind wander as well to ask important questions. Such why did Alan Pardew the Crystal Palace manager wear a Triffid on his lapel? And why did the Captain of my team, Wayne Rooney,have a hair transplant when he seems to have settled for a hairstyle best described as US marine?

In the second half Palace, then much to my relief United scored. So by 90 mins the match had to go into extra half time.Then there was a long pause on the TV for about fifteen to twenty minutes whilst I went to have dinner with the other inhabitants of the house otherwise known as my wife and daughter. Unsure what my wife was doing whilst I was watching the football. Daughter was making a hat for her Design and Technology lesson at school and no, I don't understand what a hat has got to do with technology either.

Unpaused the first half of extra time was unmemorable other than for the sending off of Chris Smalling for a tackle more suited to Twickenham. In the second half though my team dominated the game and Jesse Lindgard scored an absolute cracker of a winner.

So my team had won by 2-1. But now it's Sunday my real team is now in the Europa League. So Manchester United ......thank you.

And as it's Sunday I suspect I'd better get acquainted with my wife and daughter again.

Until the next time.