In Which We Become American For The Morning, A Bont Too Far For Airbus And A Dalek Win

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

On Friday I did the early shift. Meaning that I had to deice the car windows at five thirty in the morning on the most frosty opening day this year. Running the car as I did so, much to the widespread applause of the neighbours I'm sure. Worked an eight hour day,had a quick lunch of a packet of crisps and a bottle of mineral water after which I drove to near Maesteg and back to pick up daughter from school. Later I did some vaccuming and cleaning as there was a viewing of the house at nine thirty Saturday morning.

Despite all of this your sympathy will automatically switch to my wife when I tell you that on Thursday she discovered she had a chest infection. She came home from work sounding like wounded bagpipes and it resulted in her having tons of medication from the doctor as well as needing an inhaler and would probably explain what happened last Sunday when she didn't feel up to going Christmas shopping in Cardiff.

Thankfully on Friday she felt better. This resulted in an argument when she wanted the viewing to continue and I wanted to cancel given her condition. Eventually however we reached a compromise. The viewing would continue, but rather than go to the big out of town Starbucks about five to ten minutes drive that she wanted we'd have breakfast in one of the cafes a few blocks away so that if the wife didn't feel well and we needed to get back to the house it would be relatively quick.

Next stop: The United Nations.

Which was why wife. daughter and I were on a Saturday morning in a local café about to have a Saturday breakfast. The irony of going to a local café for the first time in order to try and leave the locale was not lost on me.

I wish could say that having a weekend breakfast like fashionable Americans was something that we should continue as a family but alas not. Firstly there were clear signs that they hadn't completely dealt with the night before. The floor wasn't completely clean, the flowers on the table were dead and the mens toilet door was open.

We ordered what is normally described as an "English breakfast" (Eggs,bacon etc) before which we were given jars of brown and red sauce. All seemed fine until you looked at the bottles. One wasn't labelled, the other said "Orange Juice". Needless to say no one took the sauce.

The food itself was edible but nothing special. Daughter was of the same view though the wife did like it I must stress. Nobody liked the coffee though. When we got home the first thing I wanted was a cup of tea.

Wish I could say that it was all worthwhile but no. Nothing from the estate agent, who let's face it would have contacted us immediately after the viewing.

Now the plan for Saturday was going to Cardiff and do Christmas shopping. But that was dropped due to wife's illness. I had intended to go to Ton Pentre today and watch their match with Bangor but although she was better really couldn't go a journey of roughly forty five minutes away until she was fully fit.

Saturday however as there was the option of going to Penybont FC (which is Bridgend in Welsh, Bont after mutation meaning Bridge, here endeth the language lesson) who were playing Airbus UK Broughton in the third round of the Welsh FA cup. As wife was ok to look after herself, a friend came to visit to see how she was and the ground was a ten minute walk away from our house I decided to go.

Now the thing to remember here is that Airbus UK Broughton (which from now on I'll call Airbus) are in the Welsh Premier League, albeit bottom of that league currently. So what that meant for a club like Penybont FC is that, (I suspect this discripyion being used for the first time in their history) Airbus were glamourous.

Now what this meant was that there were things in this match I've never seen in Penybont games in the past. Such as being greeted in the car park with men in high vis jackets and a tressel table wanting money for watching the game. Once you paid your dues they would, uniquely, actually give you a ticket!!

That ticket is surely a Penybont FC collectors item

There was a bouncy castle for the children and a TV gantry was ready to show highlights of the game on the Welsh language channel S4C.

Most of the front seats in the small stand were reserved. Including that for the lady mayoress (who left at half time)

The players had mascots as they came out and had to also go through a guard of honour of further kids some who were going to act as ball boys (I think they were all boys).

For Penybont FC this was big.

Of course I should mention here that I claim to be the first man to read a C S Forrester novel during the breaks of a Welsh F A cup game.

Proof to any doubters out there

But before the match started there was a minute's for the tragedy of the air crash in Columbia that included the Brazilian team of Chapcoense. It was observed impeccably aside from a few young kids who didn't know any better and a deliberately fashionably dressed dark haired woman with a chiffon like scarf and her young coiffured teenage son who did. Rather than stand still for a minute this cow and her brat were going to get a seat in the stand and were not nothing respectful was going to stop them getting it clanking them as they did so.

The mark of respect

So the match began. And it wasn't long before something really interesting happened. About the twelfth minute Penybont scored. I think it was number 6 who was generously given a pass from someone who could've gone himself. The pass made the chances of a goal easier for Penybont and it was taken.1-0 then.

A few minutes later it was two nil A shot from the number 10 easily superior to the efforts of the goalkeeper.

And then something truly incredible happened......the sun came out. It had been missing for the past couple of days but decided to make an appearance around the half hour mark. It seemed to energise the Airbus players as if they were solar powered for soon after they scored. A curling on from the ground by the number 33. It was the best goal of the game and the only time in the first half where the away side even suggested that they were the ones playing in the superior league.

That's sunlight in case you were curious

I should use this moment incidentally to congratulate the Football Association of Wales in encouraging minorities to participate as match officials. In this game it was Skinheads.

Multiculturalism if not multi hair

There were a couple of women around me. One of them remarked that she was going to shoot her son for putting his coat on and then proceeding to roll on the grass. The other queried the brain cells of some Penybont players for a wayward pass, So you see the ladies can criticise on football as much as the men, they just go for a more sniper approach.

But at half time it was 2-1 to the home team and people around me were happy aside from me who discovered there was no bacon and had to make do with a sausage sandwich instead. As I returned to the stand the Airbus players came out early. Presumably they didn't get the hair dryer treatment from the manager more the entire salon.

And their number 33 had a good effort early on again. Another curl that beat the goalkeeper and just missed the goal. Unfortunately for them soon after Penybont (number 6) scored a third. A cross from the left,a header, a goal. The easiest goal of the match.

To be honest Airbus gave the impression of having given up from then on. The one true effort came from their number 32, who after learning that a throw in was not going his way threw the ball on the floor and pushed a Penybont player (he was booked).

As the game entered it's final minutes Penybont added a fourth, A shot around the edge of the box by the number seven. That's how it finished. 4-1. The result was not a surprise. The comprehensive score was.

Even their team coach seemed to be mocking Airbus. "A Premier Way To Travel" was the company's slogan. They are not however a Premier way to play. Airbus are in big trouble.

As are West Ham.

I've mentioned previously that as a West Ham fan I'm probably unusual in that Arsenal and not Millwall are team I hate and that for me watching Arsenal is like viewing Doctor Who and rooting for the Daleks. However being real life the Daleks more often than not win.

They played each other in the evening game which I saw and Arsenal won by five goals to one. Although West Ham have been rocked by injuries the thing I really don't understand is that the get up and at them spirit which personified last season seems to have disappeared.

Living relatively near Swansea I'm lucky that the jibes in my direction are muted. Swansea City having also let five goals in against Tottenham. So their fans and me just wallow in our current misery together.

Until the next time.