How I Have A Garden Better Than My Neighbour's...Without Doing Anything

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

On leaving the house to start the afternoon/evening shift at work I noticed a group of muddied black bags along the neighbour's hedge. They start militarily enough in a row until ending piled up in a heap. At a rough, quick count I'm guestimating thirty to forty of them.

The muddied stains on the outside of the bags gives a clue as to the inside. They contain topsoil. And it reminds me of the problem my neighbour is having to deal with about his garden.

I should of course make a few things clear before we go on. Despite a few half hearted attempts to the contrary I'm not a gardener. Other than the zen like qualities of mowing the grass there really is nothing that attracts me to gardening or, if I'm being really honest, even sitting outside looking at one.
What this all means is that essentially I don't so much garden as tidy.There is grass, there are a few pots with plants the wife bought. But essentially that's it.

My neighbour however is the complete opposite. He loves gardening. He is the sort of man who understands the meaning of the words "south facing". His garden is a labour of love, tenderness and caring. His pristine/tireless work and my just the basics alternative has caused the wife to nag at me often through the years. That is though, the way it is.

But apparently what to anybody else seems like a perfect garden was not perfect for him. Apparently the topsoil was too much prone to waterlogging (who knew? not me) and so new soil was required to make the plants bloom even more and make his lawn (as he had a perfect right to call it unlike me) more lawny.

Last Saturday the process began. The plan as the neighbour understood it was that the company tasked with providing this soil would come and take dig up and take away the topsoil. They would then install the new improved stuff and life would horticulturally continue.

The reality proved to be different. They arrived in a massive truck (which also covered half our drive) and indeed dug up the lawn. However they advised the neighbour that they would come to finish the job sometime in March (remember last Saturday was February). At time of writing they haven't returned. From how it was described to me some language of the more fruity aisle of the supermarket was used by the neighbour in response.

What this means is that currently the neighbour's garden looks like a World War One battlefield with planks laid out so he can walk to and from the house to his shed. The heavy rain in the last week just further added to that appearance.

And as I've explained earlier not all the dug up soil has been taken (hence the bags).

Now of course I don't know the company's side of the story. I should also make it clear that I'm genuinely not laughing at my neighbour. He's a good man who loves his garden and doesn't deserve the problems facing him now. I'm sure that in time and with his ability he'll turn it into something even more impressive than before.

But I wouldn't be human if I didn't find it amusing that the one and only time my garden is better than my neighbour's I'm preparing to move house.

Until the next time.