Non Adventures In Time,Space And Ikea

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Well picture the scene. It's Sunday midday. The preferred option for the day was a trip to Tenby but forecast rain (which thankfully did come. There would have been no end of nagging had that not happened.Was just willing for the downpour) meant that was a no-no. Cardiff was also a non starter, given that a lot of it was to be shut off for the final of the Tour of Britain.

So there were three options:

1) We just go to the nearby village of Sully for lunch and then slump Sunday afternoon style on the sofas.

2) Go to Barry Island and watch fascinatingly at the sights of a seaside town in unseaside weather.

3) Go to IKEA, have lunch and then get some fabric for daughter's textile lessons at school. She had a sewing machine for her birthday and for me has shown surprising interest. Surprising in the sense that she definitely does not get that from me.

If you consider it was me vs mother/wife/daughter I think you can work out which option won.

I take The Edge Of Science by Alan Baker to read whilst the ladies are doing their thing. A decision which is treated with contempt across the generations. I don't care. The book is brought.

We arrive in the blue and yellow furniture powerhouse and the first thing to do is to have lunch. I know from the signs immiedietly what I want. Vegetable meatballs. The ladies hadn't a clue what they wanted. So I commandeered and sat by a table whilst they went . There I finished the book off.

(A quick aside something I haven't told mother/wife/daughter is that I've decided to gradually eat more vegetarian meals. I won't be an out and out veggie, if only because a bacon sandwich can seduce me in the same way chocolate does women. But still I've become after all these years now convinced that it will be good for me, so I'll whittle it down)

I wish I could say it was enjoyable, but alas. With the byline "How Did The Universe Begin and how will it end?" You would expect this to have been written by Professor Alan Baker, Doctor Alan Baker, Astro Geophysist Alan Baker NBA,MLB,NFL but alas no. Just Alan Baker with no letters around his name other than Mr. What's worse however is that he seems unable to use letters to form a readable book. It was one of those books that dull the brain almost instantaneously. It was only able to slow time as you wished you could finish it quicker.

Chapters like Are We The Extraterrestials?  Riddles of the universe and The End Of All Things should be dealt with in separate books not in chapters of a few pages each. It was, it has to be said, the most pointless tome I have read in a long while.

But it's finished. I mention to the ladies that it wasn't a good book. Wasn't given a sympathetic response.

"Perhaps you should have just looked around and seen the real world " said the wife.

Really? Such as the couple on the table opposite with the young girl with a bib marked "Daddy's Princess on it. And true to form acted like a spoilt brat throwing food and drink to the floor. Or the table on the right, where a woman was feeding her child, a boy younger than the brat nearby. Both mothers were young and pretty, both men were young but had the sort of look that suggested that whilst family life might have been an intention it was too soon than they'd expected.

So I could say to my wife that I had noticed. If it wasn't for the fact that they were still there.....and they were bigger than me.

Once the food was finished we did the wander round. Daughter got her fabric, mother got a vase, wife got a few things and of course I got nothing....except.....

In my status as middle aged I present

Slippers

And at last my biggest bugbear is resolved. I present you with my favourite mug, from IKEA, which I keep even though it's slightly chipped.

I know you're impressed

Now I like this mug because it looks continental but is big enough to hold a proper cup of tea. However every time I've tried to get another one like this for some reason the handle is only big enough for one finger to fit in. Making it awkward.....until now.

Middle Aged Problem Now Solved

So I suppose I shouldn't complain about this Sunday afternoon at IKEA

Until the next time.

In Which I'm Losing Connections With My Daughter And Bruce Chatwin Doesn't Help

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

As the title suggests as she is growing older I feel as if I'm losing connections with my daughter (who is nearly fifteen) of course that happens to all parents as their children grow older and assert their independence more. What I didn't realise (and probably should have) is that when you have a girl then it's Dad who this will affect first....specifically because he's Dad.

For as she gets older specific issues and interests arise where I, in my official capacity as Dad, have absolutely no clue what to do. For example...

Hair: As regular readers of this blog know I have enough problems with my own silver thatch to understand the problems of young women. For cutting as well as styling "Ask your mother" is my response.

Make Up: To the majority of men. Makeup is a sort of biological chemistry set for which we barely have an idea what these strange substances and implements are. Another "Ask Your mother" issue.

Fashion: Daughter never likes my comments on what she's wearing. Wife thinks I'm "behind the times". So if I make a comment Daughter's response is to ask her mother.

And fashion leads to.....

Shopping For Clothes: Many years ago. When my wife was choosing a top for what seemed like an eternity I remarked to my daughter that one day she would be exactly like her mother. Well that time has come. And if I'm dragged into this kicking and screaming at what to them is not so much shopping more of an event then my only true companion is whatever book I'm reading.

And of course there's ......

Boys: Where I suspect I'll be the last person to know about a boyfriend until she's in her twenties and there's a ring involved.

As for television. Daughter is a fan of film musicals and dance/song talent shows.....as is the wife ....no interest in anything that involves sport and a ball at all.

Now this is no competition. I now know that even if I intended to make it so I'd lose heavily. I'm a man, and at this age my daughter's interests/needs are best served by her mother.

And I do have responsibilities. Though not "popular" ones. Homework enforcer, unwelcome alarm clock on school days and of course taxi. But it's not the same.

I was mulling on this yesterday as I was waiting outside daughter's school. Then decided instead to finish In Patagonia by Bruce Chatwin. So let me confirm what I said on Sunday. I hated this book.

You know it's odd disliking a book not only popular but loved.But there we go. I hated the short chapters. The way he seemed to act superior to the indigenous people. The way history was jammed in and then rammed out. There was nothing smooth about this at all.

Not the worst book I've read this year. But so far unquestionably the most disappointing.

Went to Sully library and took out two books. This was the first:

Charlotte Betts -The Chateau On The Lake

I'm not expecting much here except being hopefully entertained.

The other was:

Alan Baker - The Edge Of Science

No idea what to expect here. We shall see.

As for what to do with my daughter. The answer I reckon is to find new interests where we can connect more. For the moment it turns out to be Ice Hockey. Since we went to the Cardiff Devils match last week I've recorded some more games on TV and amazingly she wants to watch them with her old man.

Father daughter bonding over ice hockey....thank you ice hockey.

Until the next time.