Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.
Well picture the scene. It's Sunday midday. The preferred option for the day was a trip to Tenby but forecast rain (which thankfully did come. There would have been no end of nagging had that not happened.Was just willing for the downpour) meant that was a no-no. Cardiff was also a non starter, given that a lot of it was to be shut off for the final of the Tour of Britain.
So there were three options:
1) We just go to the nearby village of Sully for lunch and then slump Sunday afternoon style on the sofas.
2) Go to Barry Island and watch fascinatingly at the sights of a seaside town in unseaside weather.
3) Go to IKEA, have lunch and then get some fabric for daughter's textile lessons at school. She had a sewing machine for her birthday and for me has shown surprising interest. Surprising in the sense that she definitely does not get that from me.
If you consider it was me vs mother/wife/daughter I think you can work out which option won.
I take The Edge Of Science by Alan Baker to read whilst the ladies are doing their thing. A decision which is treated with contempt across the generations. I don't care. The book is brought.
We arrive in the blue and yellow furniture powerhouse and the first thing to do is to have lunch. I know from the signs immiedietly what I want. Vegetable meatballs. The ladies hadn't a clue what they wanted. So I commandeered and sat by a table whilst they went . There I finished the book off.
(A quick aside something I haven't told mother/wife/daughter is that I've decided to gradually eat more vegetarian meals. I won't be an out and out veggie, if only because a bacon sandwich can seduce me in the same way chocolate does women. But still I've become after all these years now convinced that it will be good for me, so I'll whittle it down)
I wish I could say it was enjoyable, but alas. With the byline "How Did The Universe Begin and how will it end?" You would expect this to have been written by Professor Alan Baker, Doctor Alan Baker, Astro Geophysist Alan Baker NBA,MLB,NFL but alas no. Just Alan Baker with no letters around his name other than Mr. What's worse however is that he seems unable to use letters to form a readable book. It was one of those books that dull the brain almost instantaneously. It was only able to slow time as you wished you could finish it quicker.
Chapters like Are We The Extraterrestials? Riddles of the universe and The End Of All Things should be dealt with in separate books not in chapters of a few pages each. It was, it has to be said, the most pointless tome I have read in a long while.
But it's finished. I mention to the ladies that it wasn't a good book. Wasn't given a sympathetic response.
"Perhaps you should have just looked around and seen the real world " said the wife.
Really? Such as the couple on the table opposite with the young girl with a bib marked "Daddy's Princess on it. And true to form acted like a spoilt brat throwing food and drink to the floor. Or the table on the right, where a woman was feeding her child, a boy younger than the brat nearby. Both mothers were young and pretty, both men were young but had the sort of look that suggested that whilst family life might have been an intention it was too soon than they'd expected.
So I could say to my wife that I had noticed. If it wasn't for the fact that they were still there.....and they were bigger than me.
Once the food was finished we did the wander round. Daughter got her fabric, mother got a vase, wife got a few things and of course I got nothing....except.....
In my status as middle aged I present
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Slippers
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| I know you're impressed |
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Middle Aged Problem Now Solved
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Until the next time.
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