How I've Learnt To Love The Inventors Of Videotape. The Experiment (Part 1)

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Well I've spent the day being nurse to my mother with her viral infection. I won't discuss it. People look after their family everywhere in the world everytime of the day. It's in the job description.

So instead I'll chat about something else.

My mother does not have a DVR. Nor does she have a Smart TV. That's her choice. She does not even have all the Free To Air Channels. Essentially then she goes retro and watches TV when it's being broadcast, like I did as a child of the seventies.

Whilst my mother is asleep there is little else I can do but to watch broadcast TV. I do not at the moment feel I can concentrate on reading books. Only now do I realise how much I depend on recorded or on demand TV. Because without the filtering process of your own choice you suddenly realise that TV is for the most part rubbish. In the seventies there were just three channels to watch in Britain and yet (even through the prisim of nostalgia) if you removed sports from the equation there seems less shows you want to watch now even though there are countless channels. More means less.

So during the time I had spare I decided to conduct an experiment. About as scientific as Daffy Duck you understand but there you go.

As when circumstances allow from BBC1 onwards I would watch the TV as and when it's on. When it's boring/I don't like it I'll move to the next channel on the line. The key thing is not the channel which can hold my attention for the longest, that's the luck of the draw. It's taking it all as a whole.

It couldn't be done in a day. Hence Part 1.

Half past eight in the evening: Let's start with BBC1 then. Still Open All Hours. The sequal to Open All Hours. Like most sequals it's not a patch on the original. And yet it's still there. I stay out of loyalty to the Ronnie Barker classic...and then I can't stand it anymore. After fifteen minutes click.

BBC2: Thailand: Earth's Tropical Paradise. It's an animal programme. Regular readers will know that I've not got an interest in animals. So after four minutes click.

ITV: Emmerdale. Apart from the Welsh Language Soap opera Pobol Y Cwm I don't watch soap operas. Mainly because the plot twists always seem to be in the TV guides. I'm incidentally old enough to remember when Emmerdale had a farm (and if you understand that joke then you're old enough as well).As I see it a female vicar gives a man a cuddle and a woman goes to pieces in a pub. Nine minutes click.

Channel 4:The Secret Life Of The Zoo. Another animal programme. Zoo staff chatting about why a couple of rhinos didn't have sex. Four minutes click.

Channel 5: World's Strongest Man. Initial reason why I found myself watching this was the voiceover. Eddie Butler, the man who would normally voice the dramas of Welsh rugby games is doing this?Then James Richardson normally a football presenter turns up.

Of course then comes the games. It's A Knockout as if devised by ancient Spartans. Muscled men lift heavy things....and then heavier things. Curiosity value for a time....then that curiosity goes. Seventeen minutes click

ITV2: Amazing Spider Man 2. 45 minutes left for the movie. Regular readers might remember the trip I made in the summer to see Spider Man Homecoming. Spider Man in this one seems to be older than the comics. He also has a blonde girlfriend who knows his secret identity...what?? The Green Goblin also seems to be a sort of green cyber punk and Sally Field is Aunt May. Ok she may not be Marisa Tomei but she's still too young. I'm a comic traditionalist me

My mother wakes up from her slumber to chat to me during this. It would have been clicked a lot earlier. But as it happens it's the forty five minutes click.

London Live: I'll say this for London Live. It's better than it's Cardiff eqivilaent. But only because it shows programmes that have nothing to do with London (I seem to remember Raise The Titanic yesterday. Spy drama Spooks will on next week). Now it's Best Pair Of Legs in the business. A 1973 film starring Reg Varney. As far from On The Buses as you can get. I've seen it before. Depressing is not the word that goes anywhere near to explain how black this is. Your first urge after watching this would be to jump off a cliff before you controlled yourself. Seven minutes click.

BBC Four: Francis Bacon: A Brush With Violence. A Biography of the painter. Not interested. Four minutes. Click.

ITV3: Endeavour: I'm a fan of Inspector Morse and Lewis but I've never liked Endeavour and I've tried. The problem I have with this is the problem I have with all prequels. You may not know the route to get there but you know what the destination is going to be. I try for a while but nothing has really changed. Fifteen minutes click.

Pick: Three Days To Live: One of these reality Crime TV shows. Not interested at all. Three Minutes. click

My mother asks me to make her a small snack. So I return to the TV at Ten.

Dave: Would I Lie To You? : You know if it was Have I Got News For You or QI I'd have stayed to have watched the whole programme. But it isn't. One Minute. click.

Channel 4 +1: What Britain Bought In 2017: Mary Portas, a woman who looks like an explosion in a sweet wrapping factory, presents this exploration of the shopping trends this year. It's not uninteresting I must admit. The moment you think it's just too girly (big knickers anyone?) it throws you the single brought out for the Grenfell Tower disaster. I watched it all.59 minutes click.

More 4: Greg Davies. The Back Of My Mother's Head, This was the comedian's 2013/14 tour. I enjoyed it  One hour click

Out of fourteen channels so far only two attracts my attention

So thankyou Mr/Mrs/Ms videotape. The pioneers of TV I wanted to watch. For without you....I might have gone out more.

Until the next time.