The Insomniac Meanderings Post:I'm Going At Last To The Eisteddford Edition

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

As I write this it's 4:25am on a Saturday. Later than I've woken up in the past couple of days but still of course too early.

Today then, after unforeseen and unwelcome delays I'm going to the Eisteddford. On a day which will apparently worsen in the afternoon. Timing is everything. Still I am going which is the important point.

Anyway for the moment it's dark out there. Premiership football season is about to start. It's one of those signs that the high point of summer is beginning to turn. You know what? I think because I've spent the first two months of this year looking after my mother when she was unwell I think my brain is still in June mode.

I actually have, weather permitting a plan for tomorrow. To see the Welsh Rugby League Cup Final in Sardis Road Pontypridd. One of the teams competing will be the Valley Cougars who kindly offered to take round their ground but work issues eventually prevented me from doing so. What it does mean though is that there's a team I can support.

5:31am. Daylight peeking through. Electric light switched off.

6:02am. Breakfast. I'm in a porridge state of mind (with a dollop of jam of course). Meanwhile very sunny out there now. Not fooled though. The weather forecaster said this was going to be like this early on.

Just found out that McDonald's are opening their first "luxury restaurant" with knives and forks and a string quartet with the meal. Baring in mind I don't eat McDonald's anymore my first thoughts were:

1) Just like a Wimpey's used to do.

2) This will be every McDonald's if there is a hard Brexit

Friends is apparently the most popular streamed show in Britain this year (not Black Lightning? A disgrace).I've written about Literary Switzerland when you're neutral about a writer. Ditto Cinematic Switzerland re films. Now comes Televisual Switzerland with Friends. I don't dislike it. Just don't understand the passion for it. Wife/daughter love it. Must be me. Have the exact same view of The Simpsons.

Anyway time to get ready for the Maes.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 11: It's A Wrap

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Well it is done. I've completed the medium regular meal tour of the McDonald's menu. That is it. No more McDonald's,Burger King and the like. I know you don't believe me. Temptation you think will come my way. But I am genuinely resolute. This is the first step in reducing the more than a pound of flesh on my belly.

This was the last meal then. A Bacon and Chicken One Wrap.

The End Of An Era

It was tasty but forgettable.

So what have I learnt from this experience? Well...

1) I won't miss it. Honestly I won't. The food ranged from tastily forgettable to absolute rubbish.

2) The names of McDonald's meals make for the most part no sense. Since when has a chicken been a Legend?

3)Taking the food out of the packaging onto the plate has shown how relatively small a lot of these meals actually are. We've been taken for mugs.

And that's it...it's a wrap.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 10: The Peri Peri Chicken One Wrap

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Well I'm on the final stage of going through the medium meal menus of McDonald's before I stop eating fast food anymore. No more burgers though this time it's a wrap.

Literally

I remember when McDonald's introduced these wraps as a response to Morgan Spurlock's film about them Supersize Me. As if they were saying "We can produce healthy food as well". Like they're now saying "We can produce coffee like Starbucks" (In fact they can't).

You can see from this that the wrap was, well, not really wrapped properly. Looking at it it just seemed to be an undercover chicken burger. The Peri Peri sauce inside was just unimpressive.

It was, well, rubbish.

I had thought I'd got three meals left to do. But then I saw two of them were exactly the same as this and just the sauce was different. Only one meal really then to go where bacon is added to the chicken.

Then it's literally a wrap in every meaning.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 9: The Chicken McNuggetts

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

As regular readers will be aware before I abandon fast food for good I'm going on one final tour of the normal medium meals in the McDonald's menu. A few days back it was the turn of the Chicken Mcnuggetts.

And here is the meal:

Yes I Know

I'll say this. Unlike most other meals I've had in this exercise the name makes sense. They do look like nuggets. These chicken pieces which are according to the ads carefully reared and yet not good enough chickens to be called "Select" or "Legend".

Of course it was tasty. but like most McDonald's meals quickly forgettable.

One thing that did occur to me whilst eating this, but it doesn't just refer to it, is whether McDonald's meals are actually getting smaller so that they can hold down the price rather like chocolate or packets inside multipack crisps. Of course what I'm saying is completely on memory and might be wrong. But a lot of their meals just seemed somehow bigger in the past.

There is a nine McNuggett meal (I had the standard six) but I'm going to ignore it. If only because my comments would just be times three of this one. That means there's actually just four standard medium meals to go. All wraps.

I can't wait.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 8 : The Spicy Vegetable Deluxe

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Regular readers of this blog know that I'm on an exercise before I no longer eat any fast takeaway food that I'm slowly going through the regular medium menu of McDonald's. I have learnt that despite it's Americana allure the food is really not as good as I assumed. And that what they call their burgers is well, stupid to say the least.

In my last post on this I chatted about the Vegetable Deluxe. I'd assumed that that was it with regard to all things Veggie amid the home of the Carnivores. But I was wrong. The Vegetable Deluxe was not on it's own. It has a raunchy cousin. The Spicy Vegetable Deluxe.

And here it is:

You're impressed. I know it

I'll say this unlike the Vegetable Deluxe I didn't have to wait for the burger for a more than a few minutes. Presumably when the veggies enter the meat shrine they try to make themselves more sophisticated by ordering this than the mere deluxe.

So let me make it clear. Like it's ordinary version you cannot see why this is deluxe. It's also not all that spicy either. Taste wise it's hung around my mouth more than any other burgers I've tried on this so far.

Perhaps my foul mood was because for the first time since I started this exercise when I took a bite bits of orange sauced lettuce came out and went onto my T-shirt. Since my T-shirt was white it did it's damage. I hate it when that happens. People think you've only just escaped from nursery school.

It was worse than the vegetable deluxe.

You know with every medium meal I take the more I'm looking forward to finishing this and saying goodbye to fast takeaway food.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 7: The Vegetable Deluxe

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

As regular readers of this blog will know, there is an occasional series where before I give my waistline a rest and never eat takeaway fast food again I'm going to be eating every regular medium meal from the McDonald's menu. So today it was the turn of the Vegetable Deluxe.

I'd never ordered a veggie burger before. Wasn't really sure how to approach it. Do I go all meek and quiet so that the carnivores around me don't mock me. Or do I pretend I've come out of the Veggie Closet and proclaim my desire "FOR A VEGETABLE DELUXE"?

Needless to say I chose the latter.

I was number 88 in the queue. Let me explain the panic I must have caused in the kitchen when they knew someone had asked for the Vegetable Deluxe. I had to wait FIVE minutes before I got the order. Numbers 89,90 and 91 were done before I got my hands on it. Two of those five minutes were after when I heard someone there shout out "The Vegetables Done"

And this was the result. The question which of course needed to be asked was...what on earth is deluxe about this?

Pathetic is the Word

I feel after looking at this to apologise to the quarter pounder with cheese, for it's this that's truly the wimpy meal. This that gets bullied by the other burgers after dark. If the Vegetable Deluxe burger was a person I'd send it to counselling immediately.

It was also only just edible. Clearly a conspiracy by McDonald's to convert veggies back to the land of meaty burgers. For the first time since I started this exercise I put extra tomato sauce on the burger to hide the dry taste of deluxian Vegetables.

All in all not the greatest.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 6: The McChicken Sandwich

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Regular readers to this blog will know that I've decided to stop eating fast food. But before I do I'm going to be eating every regular medium meal of the McDonald's menu as and when the opportunity arises.

Well this time it's the turn of the McChicken Sandwich.

A Mutated Sandwich If You Ask Me

Let's be clear here. Whatever this is, this is not a sandwich. I don't see slices of bread over a fried chicken. I see a roll. And because the chicken is hot. I see a burger. This is a chicken burger with pretensions.

If there is one thing I've learnt since starting this exercise once McDonalds went off their original menus and started on new items they really went for the most stupid names going. After all what is legendary about their chicken legend meal? Who on earth thought that Fillet O Fish was the best way to describe what is essentially a fish finger with pretensions?...Really!

And of course it was edible but quickly forgettable. I'm beginning to wonder whether what seemed seductive American glamour is in fact just fuel for the body and nothing more. Once I finish this tour of the menu I will be very surprised if I miss it.

One final unrelated issue. With this meal I ordered a Cappuchino as my drink. McDonalds do coffee now. And they advertise it as basically just like Starbucks or Costa but without the caffine snobbery.

Well...the only connection between the drink I bought and any other coffee establishment was that it was hot liquid. It really was awful. Won't be doing that again.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 5: The Fillet O Fish Burger

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

As regular readers of this blog will be aware. I have decided to abandon eating fast food after going through the standard McDonald's menu as and when opportunities occur.

A couple of days ago it was the turn of the Fillet O Fish burger. Why they describe it that way, as if it was created by a leprechaun , is one of the of the great mysteries of Western civilisation. But for now I'll let it pass.

I must admit when I was younger this was my burger of choice. Only to show people that I was different, an individual. No bits of cow, oh no. I follow a different drum me.

However I soon learnt that not following the crowd meant that in a drive thru you had to park in a designated spot and wait whilst they cooked the thing. This happened so often that I just gave up and joined the masses asking for a Big Mac medium meal with a Diet Coke so at least I'd get the stuff there and then.

And you know what? Although I went inside the McDonald's on Tuesday. When I asked the young woman for that meal she said "It will take a little time as we'll need to cook it"(!!)

Anyway here's the result.

I know you're impressed

You might notice the hole at the top of the burger. The bit of bread that was there was stuck in the box. Was unimpressed by that.

It was of course edible but really it's no more than a fish finger with sequins on. Although the more I'm doing this exercise the more I'm growing to dislike the McDonalds' fries. Puny thin things aren't they? There really is a need for them to butch up and become chunky.

But there we go. Another medium meal knocked off the list.

Until the next time.

The Farewall Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 4: The Quarter Pounder With Cheese

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

I have mentioned before in this blog that before abandoning all fast food outlets I intend to eat everything from the standard McDonald's menu. Today on returning from Essex the opportunity came up to do that so I took it.

The menu in the local McDonald's revealed that the next one on the list was the Quarter Pounder with cheese so I took it.

Here it is.

The word we're looking for is pathetic

I always imagine the quarter pounder to be the jealous little brother of the Big Mac. After all everyone looks up to the Big Mac. It's after all Big, with the manly word Mac by it's side.

This was just,well,pitiful. I mean look at the splurge of yellow between the buns that's apparently cheese. Or the bit of cow for the burger bit. It is (not in another burger chain way) Wimpy.

For heavens sake the most impressive thing about this meal were the fries.

Definitely not going to miss this meal anymore.

Until the next time.

The Farewall Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part 3: The Big Mac

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I've made the decision not to eat any thing from Mcdonald's anymore once I've eaten every regular medium meal from their standard menu for one last time. Now opportunity has not knocked for me recently, but tonight my mother, who I have been looking after in Essex exile since she has been discharged from hospital asked again for a Chicken Mcnuggett meal.

Now her taste buds have gone really askew since being discharged. Before she would have turned her nose at anything linked to the Big M. Now however the Mcnuggett and my mother have been suddenly entwined.

The first time she asked, I I you understand refused. Couldn't leave her alone in the house whilst I took the car on the five minute journey to the nearest Mcdonald's, off the M11 just outside Epping. But this Sunday night was different. I could do it.

The Mcdonald's itself is an interesting place given that it was once a pub. Interesting in that how many churches have closed down and now pubs have followed suit. Not sure exactly what this means but the world certainly has changed since I was a child.

Of course I too was going to have a McDonald's. I looked at the menu and the next one on the list was a Big Mac. You know despite what the people at Big M will tell you by calling their most expensive offerings by this name the Big Mac is truly their signature dish. When most people have a picture of a McDonald's meal in their heads it's the Big Mac people have in their minds. It is after all Big and Enticing and well, has that image of America.

For the most part when I have been in a McDonald's the Big Mac medium meal is what I choose. For no other reason than I know there's less chance of having to wait than if I'd ordered the Fillet O Fish or, Heaven forbid, the Veggie Burger.

But the sting, or should I say aftertaste in the tale is this. When I've described a McDonald's meal in this blog as like a cheap bestseller, enjoyable but quickly forgotten, it's the Big Mac meal I'm talking about.

There is though one other thing. Like a fading Hollywood movie star the Big Mac has lost some of it's Americana glamour. All of a sudden it looks old.

This meal did not change that.

Of Faded Burger Glory

What really surprised me as I ate this Big Mac meal for the final time was that I knew I wasn't going to miss it.

My mother liked her Chicken Mcnuggets though.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Part Two: Chicken Select

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

For those of you not regular readers of this blog I've decided to forgo the instant (and then instantly forgotten) pleasures of McDonalds for the sake of my waistline but before I do to eat every regular medium meal from their menu.

This is (as they say) an occasional series. So occasional that I've only ever done it once before. But cometh the circumstances cometh the occasion. Therefore Part Two it is.

As the title gives away the McDonald's meal du jour is the Chicken Select. And here it is.

Not Exactly A Sight For A Hungry Tummy

Now the first thing to ask about this meal is this? Why is it called Select? After all in Britain McDonald's have been pushing the Chicken McNugget like it was a healthy option. Saying that it was one hundred percent chicken and only chicken. So what makes these Chickens so different that they are "Select"? To misquote Orwell perhaps in McDonald's all Chickens are equal but some are more Select than others?

I suspect their marketing department (who don't forget calls a Chicken burger in a bun a "Legend") wanted to give the impression by using the word "Select" that it was more of a high class product than those riff-raff at KFC which you could have if ponced up KFC (aka Nandos) wasn't available. For the record I like KFC. If only because there's no pretence. It's Fried Chicken...live with it.

And by the way the fries, why are they so wimpish? They really are the featherweights of potato cuts.

It's edible. But nothing more than that. Unless you're a snob the Select tag really is worthless. I'll try to remember that when it comes to say goodbye to the Mcnugget and see what tastes better.

Suspect really that it will be a dead heat.

Until the next time.

The Farewell Tour Of The McDonald's Menu Begins

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

You know sometimes in life you make sudden instant decisions that probably have been bubbling up in your head for a while but all of a sudden surface. Well there was I in a Mcdonald's just outside Barry Town today getting a meal for me and daughter when I thought. "I'm going to stop eating Mcdonald's".

Now Mcdonald's is not the sole reason for the relatively large circumference of skin that surrounds me (which is actually getting thinner) but it doesn't help either. I also think I've mentioned in the past that it reminds me of a cheap bestseller. Enjoyable at the time but quickly forgotten.

But I decided not to go cold turkey, or as I should have cold beef/chicken. That would fail. No instead I would go through every standard medium meal on the menu. Wean myself off them as you will. Then that would be it. I'd wish it a nice day never to return.

(Before you wonder. My daughter rarely goes for Mcdonald's and when she does it's solely chicken Mcnuggets that she would pine for. So dear reader the problem is me)

So I went in and looked at the menu. The first medium meal on offer was for the "Chicken Legend" burger. How something that's only been on their menu for a few years can be described as a legend is something only Ronald and the other clowns in their marketing department could try and explain.

There were also three versions of the Legend depending on which sauce you preferred. I wasn't going to go for all three so just picked the version which appealed to my tastebuds the most. Which was Cool Mayo.

So took it home and here it is.





Note the French Bread style of the burger, the wisps of lettuce and of course the classic, no legendary flimsiness of the fries.

Of course it was edible. Not moreish though. That aura Mcdonald's once had of being classic Americana down your high street has long since gone. If this is anything to go buy it's just left a residual hanging taste in the mouth that has taken hours to go away and yet still holds on.

One down then. More to come.

Until the next time.