On Being A Temporary Carer/Househusband.....And Planning For The Next Time

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

You may remember early last year I was in Essex exile looking after my ill mother for about two months. Well sometime in the future I will have to be nurse/carer for the wife who will be in hospital for regular surgery. Won't go into detail but let's leave it that it's not life threatening but she'll need help for a while.

But it occurred to me that this time I could do some forward planning.

For example said to the wife that I wouldn't be able to do any vaccumming upstairs when we move unless daughter was with her because I wouldn't be able to hear her. Let's say she was unimpressed. But I don't care. It was a thought.

Luckily for us Daughter is of an age where she doesn't need supervision in the house being a teenager....hopefully!

And vaccuming will not be easy. We have a Dyson like model and those things are not easy to get the dust out of the container. Life seemed a lot simpler when the rubbish went into a bag. But then life seemed simpler anyway.

I don't actually mind cleaning [insert house room here] as long as I've something to listen to and I'm not rushed. I'd rather do things slow and well than quick and badly (I'll stop there!).

Mind you I doubt it would be enough for most women. They look at any room in their house and see something resembling a tip when it's perfectdly fine to other people. Perhaps that's the way society has conditioned  them. I don't know. It's rather like their attidtudes to dieting. A lot of women I know go on diets when they're seemingly confusing putting on weight with being fat (and for the record I need to go on a diet). Anyway that conditioning needs to change. How I've no idea.

When I was looking after my mother before I left South Wales to look after her I was very careful in packing only dark clothes. That way I could throw it into her washing machine without having to worry about colurs. In terms of her clothes though I had to go through them with her before doing the laundry. What constitutes a light or dark wash is not always obvious.....I've found.

I'm also going to do a menu plan. Why? Well I just want to cook stuff that everyone will like and will be relatively quick. Don't care that it will be simple and it will be the meals will be the same per week (though not per day). I want it done as quickly as possible. After all I'll have to do the washing up too and I'll have to do it immediately. Men do like washing up. But they prefer it to be in one big go.  A cup and plate Everest challenge wrapped up in Fairy liquid (other brands are available).

An when I have to go out to the supermarket then like when I looked after mother it will be as if I've gone out from prison on day release and entered the outside world. Yep. When you're a carer, even a temporary one the supermarket represents the rest of humanity to you.

And of course there's the caring part as well. If my experience with my mother is of any guide then things should be fine as long as you are patient. For your loved one is the person who's ill.

Time is the key issue. If I can get the plan right then it can be run like a military operation. However I need to recognise that allowances have to be made. I'm not the person who is unwell.

Am I bigging myself up? Well I hope not. I'm not going to say that I would win any awards as a carer and especially not as a househusband. But honestly I did my best helping my mother and I can especially say that I was patient. But the thing is this. What happened with my mother and what will happen with my wife is time limited. There are people across the Disunited Kingdom who do this day in day out. They save the nation money when it comes to social services and yet seem to be undervalued by most of society.

Forget entreprenurs. These selfless people are truly the folks to look up to. They didn't plan. They just learnt what they had to do immediately.

Until the next time.