The Near Midnight MLS Meanderings Over A Microwave Meal Part 3: L A Galaxy vs Portland Timbers

Hello there. Hope you're feeling well today.

In terms of image you cannot get more different than these two teams. L A Galaxy, the glamour team. The team of Beckham, Zlatan and Hollywood. The only football (not "soccer" football) that can call itself Galaxy and get away with it.

Portland on the other hand live in a place where I would have to go on a map to find out where in America it is. And they call themselves the Timbers. Presumably to differentiate themselves to see the mundane football Woods from the trees. Not as glamorous as well anywhere else really and yet despite this they have relatively done well in the MLS.

Which is why they are the MLS team I support. They are unfashionable and yet confound expectations. I like that.

However I have a fondness for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. He with the minor help of oil money kickstarted the rise of Paris St Germain in Ligue 1 and they're the French team I follow (before oil money I need to remind you).

So this match gets under way. Billboards shot up advertising no alcohol Heinekin. I don't drink but let me tell you I've tried no alcohol beers/lagers and they always seem to have come from the same washing up liquid bottle.

Early on it was all Galaxy. Or should I say Saturn given the way they seemed to be putting rings round the Timbers. Zlatan almost scored with an impressive overhead kick.

The broadcast on ESPN was commentated on by English commentator John Champion who must feel odd when he has to read out ads for Audi and Gatorade. Personally I reckon he's being over English for his mainly American audience. Can't remember the last time a British commentator in Britain used the words "enthuse" or "a tad short"

Another ad comes on the billboard for I think back pain relief "Works at the speed of life" is the slogan. Well I'm 55. So it's slow then.

Apparently the LA fans are called the Riot Squad. All very reassuring. The Portland fans are called The Timbers army. Personally I think a group of Portland fans should be called a forest. Which would make me a branch member (I'll get my coat)

Then a penalty for the Galaxy. Commentators suggest Zlatan prepared to fall over at the right moment. Boo hiss.... Zlatan, no Mr Ibrahimovic scores. Cue ticker tap on the pitch.

Portland then equalise. In terms of pure football the best moment of the game. The Glaxy finds that it's universe is ripped apart by neat passing movements. Ebobisse scores. 1-1.

That was how the first half ended. In the second half again LA get awarded a penalty and again the commentators suggest Mr you know who may have not acted to the sprit of the law.

He scores. 2-1 Galaxy. Portland is incensed. An assistant manager has to leave the pitch. Unfortunately the Timbers weren't able to equalise again and the Galaxy win. L A Galaxy will feel that the universe is back on track. The Timbers will feel as if they're good work was unfairly chopped off.

Until the next time.